Name plus voice times sense of humor equals connection

I like her. I really like her. She seems like someone I'd wish I was friends with if we were in college together.

How do I know?

Because we talked on the phone. Actually, I sobbed. My fantastic husband did a lot of talking. She did a lot of talking, laughing and storytelling. It was so emotional it has taken me 30-some hours to recover enough to write about it.

First, I don't want to use her real name. So let's call her Tanya.

The woman who runs the agency knew I was having second thoughts after Donor No. 2 backed out. So she suggested we talk to Tanya on the phone. We scheduled a time. I came home in the middle of the day. And the phone rang.

Nancy, the woman from the agency, asked Tanya to start by telling us why she chose to be an egg donor. Tanya said she got into it because her sister did it -- in California, I believe. Her first cycle didn't go very well because they didn't get her drugs straight. So she did a second cycle with the same couple. She said she felt like this was something she could do to help people who would obviously be amazing parents. She admitted the money was also a factor -- of course. She's a college student, works two jobs, lives thousands of miles from her family. I liked her honesty.

We told her that we have one child and we want to give her a sibling. We told her we aren't perfect parents, but we have done a few things right. My husband told her the story of how our daughter donated her hair to Locks of Love because she heard that kids with cancer might need it. She seemed touched.

My husband is a comedian. He's dabbled in standup. He can be incredibly funny, amazingly emotional and unbelievably inappropriate all in the same sentence. Some people love his humor. Others are freaked out by it.

Tanya clearly got it. She even kicked back a few jokes worthy of genuine laughs. We connected. And that is more important than all those other factors that we had to look at on paper -- hair color, eye color, medical history, etc.

I go back to the Oprah show on sperm donation. The one thing that I carried away from that was the reality that even an anonymous donor could eventually be part of our lives. So I need to think forward 20 years and decide if this donor is someone I might want at a family Thanksgiving someday.

And she is.